My daughter’s cello’s name is Musica.

A couple weeks ago, her teacher asked her to play a piece with the biggest, loudest sound that Musica could make.

So, she got into position, perfectly placed her bow and then with determination, focus, and all of her strength, she played.

Her efforts did result in a bigger sound.

Her teacher then asked her to completely relax her arm, to let go, drop the weight of her arm, and without any effort move her bow.. 

“Let’s hear Musica’s whole voice now!” she said.

Oh my goodness, the sound that came out of that cello just about knocked me off my chair.

It was huge and deep and strong and resonant and soooooo beautiful.  I can still feel it now.  The whole room was vibrating.

It brought tears to my eyes.

That sound did not come from force,

• Or effort,
• Or strength,
• Or pushing,
• Or pressure,
• Or struggle,

It came from relaxing and letting go.

My daughter’s teacher is always saying that playing the cello brings you face to face with the greatest mysteries of life.

Like why it is that pushing, struggle and effort are no match for intention, ease, and letting go.

We have this tendency to fear that if we let go of struggle and effort our lives will fall apart.

But, that never happens.

What does happen is, that when we turn our attention to where we want to go, drop the struggle and effort, and relax into being who and where we are, our full power comes through.  Just like Musica’s.

We have more energy, we feel happier, everything gets easier and mysteriously, more gets done.

We are suddenly playing with our full voice.

And the sound is deep and resonant and beautiful, and just about knocks us off our chairs.

You just can’t force that level of power and beauty.  You have to allow it.

This is a mystery I continue to explore every day, in my work, as a mom, in every aspect of my life.

I invite you to explore it with me.

There is no right or wrong way to do it.

Just allow yourself to explore and observe.

Learning how to be who you are, how to create your best life and your most beautiful sound is an art….just like playing an instrument.

I invite you to approach it the same way.  With interest, curiosity, and experimentation.

What happens when you push?

What happens to your heart and your body when you’re plowing through your To Do list, forcing yourself to do something you think is good for you, or telling yourself that you can’t do it?

What happens when you allow yourself to follow your inner flow?

Is there a way you can relax more into yourself and your life today?

How can you take the pressure off of your strings?

It’s really worth investigating because the beautiful resonance of being fully who you are not only benefits you, it is a blessing to everyone around you, and the single most powerful thing you can do to heal the world.

Assuming it actually needs healing.  But that’s a mystery to explore another time.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear what you discover about you!

Make peace with where you are.  It’s the first rule of successful manifesting.

Before you try to create anything you want, make peace with not having it.

Drop your need.

This of course, is easier said than done. Especially when what you want to create is something that’s really important to you – like a healthy body, financial abundance, or a life partner.

I have had many experiences of manifesting that felt like pure magic.

It happens whenever something I kinda want shows up unexpectedly and I really don’t think I will get it – so I don’t try – or more accurately, I try with a really playful attitude.

Like the time I wanted to take an outrageous workshop that was totally out of my budget. I was giddy at the idea of taking it.  But, I wasn’t attached.  There were lots of other wonderful things in my life. I didn’t need it.

I decided that if the money showed up in the next couple days I’d do it.  If not, no biggie.  Then I totally dropped it.

Within 3 hours I received the money from a completely unexpected source that had no idea I wanted the money or the workshop.  WooHoo!

This is not a fluke or unique example.  Things like this happen regularly in my life when I’m detached.

Desire + Detachment = Magic

So, the big question is…..How do we get detached when we actually are attached?

How can we feel playful about manifesting health when we’re not healthy,  love when we’re alone, or money when we can’t pay the bills?

I know from experience, no matter how many hours you spend visualizing, acting as if, scripting, and repeating affirmations, you are repelling what you want until you make peace with not having it.

Even better, if you can CELEBRATE not having it.

Until what you want is total gravy.  You can take it or leave it.  You know you are just great either way.

A participant in one of my workshops recently asked if people who were masters at creating could manifest specific things that they felt attached to creating.

And the light bulb went on for me.

People who are masters at creating aren’t attached to manifesting anything. They are masters at dropping their attachment.

How is this possible?

Because they know that they already ARE everything they need.  They are connected to all that is.  They are pure love.  In that place, you can completely, totally, 100% trust and let go.  You don’t need anything, and so you have nothing to lose.

I can hear you thinking, “Yeah right!  That’s fine for an enlightened master (like Jesus or Buddha).  But how could I ever feel like that?  I could never let go of my attachment to things like losing weight, getting rid of pain,  or having a roof over my head.”

Yes you can.  No matter where you are, it absolutely is possible for YOU to have a deep down feeling in your bones that you are absolutely safe, loved, and connected to all that is no matter what.

Because YOU ARE.

It just takes practice, practice tuning into the magic and oneness that are all around you, all the time.

I can’t say I fully understand it.  But I know that it’s true, because I’ve felt it.  And, I bet you have too, at least once.  At some moment of utter connection with yourself, or nature, or someone you love.

LOVE.

It’s all about practicing connecting to love.

Not romantic love.  BIG LOVE.  God love.  The love that YOU ARE.

Until you know that YOU ARE LOVE and that your safety comes from connecting with yourself and your intuition and your ability to navigate in a magical world, there is no way you can manifest anything you really want.

Because what you want is that connection to YOU.

And until you KNOW that you will feel needy, and when you feel like you need something….

Yup.  You push it away.

Which really is the biggest blessing going.  Because it forces you to connect to the love that you are – or suffer.

So, how do you make peace with where you are?  You tune into who you are and start following your heart and joy and intuition.  You make discovering yourself your priority. You question your stressful thoughts and you welcome your emotions as guidance.  As you do this, you realize that you already are everything you need.

And then you’ll be able to create anything you can imagine, and it will be fun!

Why?

Because you’ll be playing.

And the universe loves to play……Just ask the dolphins.

Morning anxiety is something many of us have experienced and it’s not uncommon at this time of year.  Sometimes, even when things are going well we can start waking up with that inexplicable familiar pit in our stomach and the desire to stay curled up under the covers, hiding from the world.

When this happens, we immediately think something is wrong.  We think it “means” something.  Yesterday we were feeling confident about our resolutions or our new business plan and now we’re afraid to get out of bed.   “What was I thinking? I can’t do this! I’m going in the wrong direction.”

We’re partly right.  Anxiety IS guidance.  But it’s not the guidance we think.  It’s not saying, “You’re doomed.  You’re doing it wrong. You’re going to fail and end up alone, broke and a miserable failure.”

Usually it’s saying ”Hey – pay attention – I’ve got some important information for you.”

Fear is not a sign that you are on the wrong path.  It is actually a sign that you are on the right path.

When you step onto the path of creating your own life….you need your intuition.  You need fear.  You can no longer rely on what others think, or how everyone else does it.  You have to be able to feel and receive the guidance from your own emotions.

Fear’s purpose is to bring us the focus, intuition, and energy we need to create our dreams.

Unfortunately the emotion usually scares us into hiding under the covers, eating, watching tv, or spinning in our minds in endless cycles of worry……

…….All to avoid feeling what’s happening in our bodies.

And the thing is, what’s happening in our bodies is GUIDANCE – of the most brilliant kind – specifically tailored to us, trying to give us the information we need to get from where we are to where we want to go.

If you are experiencing morning anxiety, celebrate!   And then listen.  Your emotional guidance system is working and ready to help you.  Here’s what you can do…..

Get into your body

Our inclination is to run from uncomfortable sensations, and for good reason.  We’ve almost all experienced traumas or really big feelings as children that we had to find ways not to feel.  We developed habits (like eating, worrying, and watching TV) that allowed us to survive in situations that we were powerless as children to change.

As adults however, we are equipped to receive this guidance and use it.  We want to allow the uncomfortable sensations and learn how to communicate with them.  The first step is to counteract our automatic instinct to dissociate from our body by consciously choosing to stay in it.

There are many ways to do this.  I take some nice slow breaths into my low belly, ground myself and imagine an energetic boundary that can contain me, and all of my emotions.  For more info on how to ground and set a boundary see Karla McLaren’s book “The Language of Emotions.”  Just slowing down and bringing attention to your body will do.

Observe

What sensations do you notice?  Name them.  Use lots of adjectives……contracted, tingly, achy, open, etc.  Pretend you’re a scientist gathering data for an experiment.  You are an objective witness.  Nothing you notice is good or bad.  Just stay with the sensations.  See what they do.  How do they want to move?  They are energy moving through your body.

Notice Your Mind

Notice your mind.  What are your stories?  Recognize that often these stories are keeping you stuck in your mind and serve the purpose of protecting you from feeling emotions that may have been very overwhelming for you as a child.  Put your mind stories in a little cartoon bubble.  You can have them back later.  Right now, your goal is to feel and communicate with your emotions and your body.

Ask

Ask your emotion these questions and any others you want to ask.  You can have a dialog out loud, in your mind, or on paper.  To do this you can imagine becoming the fear and answer the questions as if you are the fear talking.  It’s also great to have someone else ask you the questions.

1. How are you here to help (your name)?
2. Do you have a message for (your name)?
3. How can (your name) specifically implement this guidance?

Last week I was experiencing morning anxiety.  I had a conversation with my fear and learned that it was time for me to focus more specifically on what I’m creating in my business.  I learned that It’s time for me to dig in, create a plan and take charge of steering this ship in the direction I want it to go. (Stay tuned for some really fabulous classes and new offerings!)  My fear wanted me to know that I had created some fast moving energy and that it was time for me to get consistent and more deliberate about directing it.  I asked how to do this and was guided to sign up for a local business class and to get up every morning to journal and meditate – with the intention of directing my energy.

I’ve implemented that guidance and am back to jumping out of bed in the morning, eager for the day ahead.

You may be skeptical (I was!) but trust me….You will love starting a dialog with your emotions!  Every moment of every day you have all of the wisdom and guidance you need coming through your body.  It’s time to stop running from it and get on the same team.  What is your fear telling you?  How about your sadness or your joy?  Be curious.  Be playful and you will be amazed by how utterly brilliant you are!

Anxiety is your friend.  If you let it it will keep you on course to your best most radiant life.

What is your morning anxiety telling you?

Confession: For the last 2 weeks I’ve been harboring a secret desire to get sick so I could spend 2 days in bed reading, sleeping, writing, and watching Ally McBeal reruns. 2 days of total rest.

No surprise I actually manifested getting sick. But, not sick enough! I could still work, so I did. Even as I researched the benefits of rest for this blog post! Ha ha!

Sometimes it’s not so easy to do what you clearly hear your body needs. Especially when what it is asking for is rest.  I allowed myself little bits of rest in between working, but not the full on 2 days in bed that I was longing for. That just seemed lazy and I had too much to do.

Not only didn’t I get better, I didn’t get anything worthwhile done either.

I pushed myself to the point that merely entertaining the idea of working intensified my symptoms. I was actually physically repulsed by the idea of taking action in my business or my life, at all.

And, that’s when I finally did it. I cancelled my appointments, cleared my schedule and spent exactly 2 full days in bed resting, reading, writing and watching Ally McBeal.

Did the world end? No!

I’m happy to report that not only am I physically better, I feel spiritually and emotionally re-nourished, re-energized and renewed.

And, it turns out I’m moving forward in a new direction in my business. There were things I was overlooking. Questions I wasn’t asking. My body was signaling me that my soul had something to say and it wanted me to make the space to listen.

Had I ignored my body and continued to push through, I would have eventually gotten better. But, I would have spent a bunch more time feeling bad and going in the wrong direction first.

So, I’m adding this experience to my growing list of evidence that my body knows what it’s talking about.

The fastest path to getting where I want to go is ALWAYS the path of listening, acknowledging my desires, and following my feel good.

Since I did the research, I’ll share with you that there is an impressive list of benefits attributed to getting adequate rest, including:

Decreased Stress Levels
Increased Cognitive Function
Increased Alertness and Productivity
Improved Decision Making
Improved Mood
Improved Memory and learning
Increased Creativity
Better Health
Decreased Heart Disease
Better Reaction Time
More Patience
Increased Learning

Not only that….

Successful businesses like Nike, Facebook, and Ben and Jerry’s provide facilities where their employees can rest while they’re at work.

Why? My hunch is that if your bottom-line depends on the creativity and ingenuity of your employees you take their needs for rest seriously.

Afterall, who’s going to be more productive? An employee who is physically and emotionally tired and pushing themselves through the afternoon with stimulants and/or brain candy (online games, social media, etc), or a well-rested employee who has the time and space to allow their body to rest and their clarity and creativity to flow?

When are you more productive? You may want to spend some time considering the answer to that question.

Are you waiting until you’re incapable of working to take a break?

If so, consider the possibility that that means that your body’s only effective method of communicating with you is to take you out of commission. If you start learning how to acknowledge the whispers…your longings and desires…your body won’t have to shout at you any more.

We live in a society that honors action, productivity, and the bottom line. But the bottom line really is that sometimes the highest productivity comes from listening, resting and allowing – NOT DOING.

That doesn’t mean stop acting all together. That means keep listening. Your body will give you all the information you need. And if you’re body is asking for rest, remember……

No matter how counterintuitive it seems to slow down when you think you should speed up, or to do nothing when you feel pressure to do more, it is the only way to create an extraordinary, magical, radiantly healthy life – and business.

I promise.

And I bet Nike, and Ben and Jerry would back me up!

My wish for you is that you will have the courage and wisdom to give your body what it’s asking for, and get plenty of blissful, nourishing rest – even during the holidays…..actually, especially during the holidays. More on that next month. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your experiences, successes and struggles with following your bodies wisdom and longings, and getting the rest you need.

We have learned that getting things done requires our thinking, doing and planning.  But when our action doesn’t feel good, it is disconnected from universal energy and it’s not effective.  It has no power behind it.

Working when you’re disconnected from universal energy is like trying to dig the foundation of a building with a teaspoon.  It feels hard, overwhelming, and like you’ll never get it done.

Our minds think the solution to this problem is to work more, work harder, and work faster.  But really, how effective is it to shovel dirt faster with a teaspoon?  The solution isn’t to work faster and harder, it’s to bring in the heavy equipment.

How?

By doing what feels good, otherwise known as Allowing. When we feel good we’re connected to our inner guidance.  We’re accessing universal energy.  We’re using a backhoe instead of the teaspoon.

In reality this is not that easy to trust. I often find myself thinking, ”If I don’t do it, who’s going to?  Dinner isn’t going to prepare itself.  The computer isn’t going to fix itself. The house won’t clean itself.  My blog post and ebook won’t write themselves.”

Or will they?

I have to say, I’m a master at dropping the struggle and effort with the little things. Like when something breaks, or I have a disagreement with a friend, or my daughter has a problem I want to help her with.  With those things, I let go and allow and they almost always work out.

Easy Peasy.

But bigger things?  Not so much.  As I build my coaching practice and look at my exponentially expanding To Do list I easily fall into I have to DOOO all this. Which is followed closely by the thought “There’s no way I can do all this.”  Followed closely by overwhelm and panic.

I’ve tried everything to Feel Good and reconnect with universal energy.

I’ve worked with my thoughts.

I’ve had coaches help me work with my thoughts.

I’ve made peace with where I am.

I’ve raised my vibe, scripted, what if’ed, and pivoted my heart out.

I’ve meditated and channeled.

I’ve released the need.

I’ve intended.

And still, I regularly ended up at overwhelmed and afraid and shoveling away with my teaspoon.

And then I began training to be a mind-body coach.

And now I’m learning how to observe my mind, body, and emotions.  I observe and then listen – without trying to change anything.  And my inner guidance is starting to come through loud and clear.

I’ve known for a while that my emotions are guidance. But the reality was that most of the time when I noticed painful or uncomfortable feelings, I immediately tried to change them.  I immediately tried to Feel Better.

I was seeing uncomfortable emotions as a sign that I was thinking or doing something wrong, instead of what they really are – real live guidance about how to proceed.

What I’ve been learning the last few weeks is that we each carry around more wisdom than all the teachers and coaches on the planet combined.  And, our guidance is unique and specific to us. And, it comes through our body and our emotions.

Being with my body and my emotions, as they are, feels like coming home.

I see that I’ve been running away from my feelings.  I didn’t think I was, but I also didn’t really think I was supposed to have them.

And as a result, I wasn’t paying close enough attention to what was going on inside.

Yesterday my TO DO list overwhelm struck and instead of pushing to do more, I lay down and felt what was going on in my body.  I allowed it to be there and heard the wisdom that was coming through.  The message was “SLOW DOWN”.  Slow down and feel.

As counter intuitive as it seemed I decided to do just that.  I pulled out my journal to jot down my insights and in less than 10 minutes, without trying, out flowed the outline for this blog post.

I put down my teaspoon for a few minutes and the backhoe did the digging.  Easy.  Effortless. Fun.

If you’re TO DO list is threatening to take over your life follow these 3 simple steps.

1) Notice how you’re feeling.

Check in with yourself regularly and ask, “How am I feeling?”  Listen closely for the subtle feelings.  Don’t wait to be in full-blown overwhelm to notice.  Stay on top of what’s happening in your body.

2) Put down the teaspoon.

When you don’t feel good, stop.  Lie down, and observe.  Scan your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.  Notice every sensation.  ALLOW it to be there, allow it to move and change and flow.

3) Bring in the Backhoe.

Connect to your inner guidance.  Ask you body and your emotions how they are trying to help you.  Get specific.  Ask for guidance and directions on how to proceed.  Allow your individually tailored inner wisdom to lead you to your next steps.

Follow these steps and you just may be surprised at how fast your TO DO list gets done.

As always, I’d love to hear your insights, successes and questions!

Most women believe they are caring for themselves when they diet and workout to lose weight.  But trying to lose weight because you don’t like how you look is not self-care, it’s self-rejection.  Even if you lose the weight or get in shape, it won’t last.  The first step to successful, lasting change is to fully embrace who you are now.

How will you feel when you have the body you are dreaming of having? You will adore your amazing body!  And that’s what you’re really after, that feeling of being in love with yourself – not a thinner body.  It is that feeling that will create a healthy beautiful body. It’s not the other way around.

Men love women who love themselves.  People are attracted to women who love themselves.  It’s the energy they’re attracted to.  You are beautiful when you think you are.  (Think Queen Latifah).  If you think losing weight will help you to feel beautiful, think again. Beautiful is a state of mind.

When you believe the thought that you have to lose weight you are taking the position that you are not ok the way you are.   The pain that you are causing by rejecting yourself will never allow you to successfully create a healthy beautiful body. You’ve got to clean up your thinking and your vibration first.

Here’s my mission in life…..to get every woman on the planet to know that they are beautiful, wonderful and PERFECT, yes perfect – even with cellulite, even when they lose their tempers, even when they fall short of their own ideals…….perfect EXACTLY the way they are.  Why?  Because I know from experience that it is not possible to reject or criticize yourself into where you want to be.  You have to love yourself there.

Here’s the thing.  If you don’t start thinking that you are beautiful exactly the way you are you will NEVER feel that way, no matter how much weight you lose.  You will never feel happy, peaceful, joyful or content.  You will never be FREE.  The only way to get what you want in your life…..whether it’s skinny, rich, in love, passionate about your work, or vibrantly healthy is to LOVE YOURSELF into it.

Notice what happens in your body when you think the thought “I have to lose weight”.  Do you feel expansive and happy and energetic or does it make you want to get under the covers and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s?

Try this.  Imagine stepping into a world where you can’t think the thought I have to lose weight. Just for a few minutes allow yourself to go there.  Notice anything?  Maybe you feel relief, ease, peace, joy or playfulness.  Spend some time there.  Who are you being in your life when you totally love and embrace yourself EXACTLY the way you are? My hunch is you’re happier, you have more energy, you may be more open with other people, more playful and feeling freer.  Tell me where I’m wrong.

If you already thought you were perfect what would you be doing? My hunch is you’d be doing what feels good –you’d be focused on creating, playing and connecting.  Would you be restricting calories?  Probably not, but you would probably be less focused on food and feeding yourself lots of delicious healthy food – and some yummy not so healthy food. Would you be forcing yourself to workout?  Probably not, but I bet you’d be exercising or moving for the joy of it and with an attitude of caring for your already beautiful body.

It may feel uncomfortable to start thinking that you are beautiful the way you are.  You probably aren’t going to all of a sudden believe it.  That’s ok.  That feeling can be cultivated.  Start by making the decision to love yourself the way you are.  Decide that you are beautiful and treat yourself as if you are. Stop trying to change yourself. Pretty soon you’ll recognize the beauty that’s always been there.

So many women are trying to change themselves so they can love themselves.  When I’m thinner than I’ll ___________.   Don’t put your joy on hold.  Think and be the woman who loves her body exactly the way it is.   Fall in love with yourself now, and your reality will shift to match that.

I’ve wanted to learn how to sing since I was 12.  My piano teacher was an opera singer and
I asked her if I could take lessons with her.  She said no.  She didn’t think I’d take it seriously.  I was crushed.

Well, this weekend I decided to take a voice workshop because it sounded fun.  It was the first time I’ve had any kind of instruction on how to sing (a.k.a. create beautiful sound with your voice).  What did I learn? I learned that good singing, just like any good creating, has nothing to do with taking it seriously.

5 minutes into the workshop I knew it was going to be great when our teacher, Frankie Armstrong, gave us these ground rules.

Rule #1: Don’t use the words – right/wrong, correct/incorrect, nice/nasty, good/bad,.   Instead say….”hmmm.  fascinating”, and “oh, isn’t that interesting” when referring to the sounds coming out of your mouth.

Frankie explained that when we learn how to talk, we make a lot of mistakes, but we’re appreciated and encouraged to keep experimenting.  We lavishly praise babies for making any sounds at all.  But, when children learn how to sing they are often judged.  They are told that they’re doing it wrong, or don’t have a good voice and they accept that label.  They stop trying.  They don’t sing.  They cut off all possibility for learning how to use their voices, and the joy that comes with it.

Rule #2:  Be curious and PLAY.

This pretty much happens naturally as a result of #1.  When we allow ourselves to play and experiment we give ourselves a chance to learn – and we have fun doing it.  And really, if it’s not fun, why bother?

Rule #3:  Allow the sound to come out.  Don’t force it out.

We learned that to create beautiful sound you first focus on building the resonance within yourself.  You literally build the vibration by going down and expanding it into your ribcage first.  Then you allow your throat and mouth to open so that the sound floats out.  It is such a perfect metaphor for how to create your life!

If you push or strain your voice the sound is terrible.  It is. Try it.  But, if you start with a hum and allow it to vibrate in your mouth, up into your head, down into your throat and expand it into your chest and ribs, and then just open your mouth and throat the sound that floats out not only sounds beautiful, it FEELS AMAZING!  I love the image of the sound floating out without touching the sides – rather than being pushed and squeezed out.

When I coach my clients I teach them that the single most important thing in creating what they want in their lives is that they learn how to create the feeling of what they want in themselves first.  You must FIRST build the resonance inside yourself, and then ALLOW it to flow out, into your life.   Instead, what most of us try to do is struggle and work hard to get what we want. Rather than allowing the joy to flow, we try to make it happen and it doesn’t work.

The next time you are working hard to create something and you feel any pushing or struggle, see if you can let go for a moment and FEEL into the vibration you want to have.  Build the resonance within yourself.  Once you’re connected to the feeling, see if you can go back to taking action with an attitude of play and fun.  If you can’t, go do something else.  My hunch is that the quality of work you produce and the quality of the life you live when you are playful, allowing, and connected to joy are vastly different than when you feel rushed and tired and you’re pushing yourself to do more. Tell me where I’m wrong?

When you feel stuck or overwhelmed or something isn’t turning out the way you want it to, instead of beating yourself up or giving up, what if you thought “Hmm interesting” Or “Oh, fascinating”!  What if you were curious about yourself and what is showing up in your life?  How might that feel different than being critical? Do you think you would get different results?

Approach your own beautiful attempts at creating your life in the way you approach a child learning how to walk or talk or read – with encouragement and appreciation.   Remember, creating your life is NOT serious business.  Be curious, play, and allow who you are to flow.  You will be amazed at the beautiful sounds that will come out, all on their own.

Step #1 to Live In Your Power: Live by this motto….”There is no one else out there.  IT IS ALL ME.”

It is all you.  Every little bit of what you experience is not only a reflection of your inner state it IS you.  In order to create what you want you have to make all changes at the source – within yourself.   When you think someone else has to change in order for you to feel better you are giving your power away and it FEELS CRAPPY to give your power away!  It will eventually make you feel dependent and weak even if you get what you want.  When you believe that what you need to feel good comes from outside of you, you are disconnecting from who you ARE – ahem, GOD.

What if the next time you feel crappy you see it as an opportunity to learn how to step into your power? Rather than thinking about how to fix the reality you’re living in, how to get someone to do what you want them to do, or change a situation that you feel powerless over, just drop it.  That’s it.  Just drop it.  Drop all attempts to communicate, manipulate, strategize, demand, etc.  Come back to yourself. …and breathe.  Can you feel the relief in that?

Decide to take responsibility for your feelings and not pin them on someone else.  That’s the only way anything in your life is ever going to change.  I mean really, how long have you been feeling this way in one form or another throughout your life?  When’s the first time you remember feeling this way? Is this situation really making you feel these feelings or have they been in you since you were very young?  What if your feelings have been there all along and you are creating the circumstances in your life in order to feel them? Why?  Because that’s how you’re used to feeling.  That’s how you learned to adapt to the environment you grew up in.  I know this is so contrary to what most people learn that it is hard to accept.  But really, I promise you, this is your chance to learn how to manage your thoughts and feelings, to learn about yourself, to make a change in a way that will change all your future experiences, to learn that you get to decide how you think and feel no matter what!

When you are able to change your own feelings without changing your circumstances you will fall in love with yourself.  The first step is to recognize that this is possible and put all of your attention where it’s going to be effective – on you!   Get out your journal and write.  Go for a walk.  Notice your thoughts and feelings and be with them.  Welcome them in.  You might feel hurt or angry or frustrated or betrayed.  Write it down.  Notice how your thoughts are contributing to your feelings.  Accept and welcome it all.

In my case, I made a decision to drop all thoughts that had anything to do with my ex being wrong as soon as I noticed them.  It was not easy!  When they came up, I replaced them with “I am taking responsibility for how I feel now”.    How I was feeling wasn’t his fault.  He could not behave in any way that wasn’t a match to my vibration.   I also decided to keep loving him no matter what, which was a decision to keep loving myself (remember, It’s all me).  When you recognize that your creation IS YOU, you will find it much easier to love it.  Try it.  You’ll notice that loving feels so much better than blaming or criticizing.   I didn’t take action I just sent  loving thoughts and imagined sending light.  I felt instantly free and back in my power – before I changed one other thing – just from letting him off the hook.  The time I had spent blaming, asking, demanding, criticizing, wishing, and hoping was draining my energy and not getting results. Putting my attention on my ex was in effect abandoning myself.  It felt so soothing to let go and be with me.

Think of someone or something in your life that you are unhappy with and hoping will change.  Can you stay in your power?  Can you acknowledge that this person or circumstance is you and make the decision to let them off the hook? Can you send love recognizing that you love yourself when you do? Try it and notice how it feels.  Fear may come up but just tell yourself that for right now you’re doing an experiment in taking responsibility for how you feel. If it doesn’t work, well, no biggie.  You can always go back to how you did things before.  I’d love to hear your feedback and experiences and please ask any questions you have!

Love and Bliss,

Lorraine

Did you know that a juicy life doesn’t just happen?  You have to decide to create one.  And, more importantly, if you want to live a juicy life you have to be living in your power to do it – which means you have to identify the areas in your life where you are giving your power away and take it back.   The way to do this is to take responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings, and the results you are getting – always.  Your power lies within you – Only WITHIN YOU.  Any and all attempts to control, convince, manipulate or otherwise change your external reality are futile and ultimately will diminish your power and your joy.  It’s like wasting your time trying to fix a toaster when there’s no electricity.  The problem isn’t the toaster.  It’s that there is no electricity to make it work.

Deliberate creators often get hung up here.  We know the drill.  We know we’re attracting what we’re vibrating, but it’s just not always easy to take on 100% responsibility.  I know it’s hard.  Your mind is used to rattling off all kinds of thoughts that will prevent you from doing it, but until you decide it’s ALL you – not mostly you, not all you except when _______ , ALL YOU – you are not living fully in your power. Imagine what you could create if you did!

You can always tell when you’ve given your power away because every time you do you
feel crappy!  We have a tendency to want other people and circumstances to change when that happens.  But when you feel bad emotionally your thoughts are responsible for your pain, and the ONLY person who can change it is you.   In fact, the shocking truth is that when you allow someone else to change in order to make you feel better, you become more dependent on them and over time you will feel less and less empowered and less in touch with your own joy.

This is an incredibly hard lesson to learn and apply because there is relief in getting someone else to change to make you feel better.   But the bottom line is……If you want to feel absolutely amazing and free and powerful and in love with yourself, and create what you want in your life, the only way to do that is to take responsibility for how you feel, stop all attempts to get anyone to change anything,  and change your own thinking.  I know it seems impossible sometimes.  I’ve been there!

Last month my boyfriend and I broke up because I was feeling (well thinking really) that he would never fully commit to me.  I did lots of work on my thoughts and lots of scripting and pivoting and still I couldn’t get past the thought that our relationship wasn’t moving forward.  And believe me, I had lots of great evidence that it wasn’t going to and most of it was about him. So, in as loving a way as I could, I let go.  The weeks that followed were not easy.  But, the pain I felt over the break up was interspersed with moments of total freedom, clarity, empowerment and love.  And, I noticed that how I felt (whether it was desperately unloved and unwanted, or joyful, juicy, and eager for the opportunity before me) was solely dependent on my thinking.

Are there any areas in your life where you are feeling less than good or possibly even crappy?  Is there someone you are upset with that you want to change?  These are places in your life where you are letting your power drain away and you have an amazing opportunity to step more fully into the unlimited being that you are.  I’m going to let you know exactly how to do that in this series of posts.   For now, notice the places where you are giving your power away to the people and circumstances around you – and notice how it feels.  If you feel inspired to, please share what you notice here.  This journey is so much juicier when we take it together.

Love, bliss, and juiciness,

Lorraine

What, you may wonder, do baby chicks have to do with living from your essential self?  Well, I’ll tell you…..

This week my almost 10 year old daughter and I were offered the opportunity to raise 10 baby chicks until they are 8 weeks old.  My first thoughts were “No Way!  Too much work, huge mess, we don’t have space, our cats will eat them, I can’t bring messy smelly baby chicks into our house, blah, blah, blah…”  I was going to say no thank you, but every time I went to respond I felt a familiar tightness in my belly.   A feeling that I have learned means that the action I’m about to take is not on the path to my most joyful and authentic life.  Like a GPS programmed with the destination of my North Star, my essential self is telling me to “return to the highlighted route.”  So. I took a closer look at the thoughts that were going through my mind.

I noticed that my thoughts were all based on lack and fear (mostly things like, there’s not enough time, help or money).   I  recognized that they were stories I was telling myself that weren’t true and they were drowning out my desire to allow my daughter to have an opportunity to revel in her joy, as well as the part of me that wanted to play with adorable little chicks.

I asked myself the question…In 10 years which will I remember…keeping my house clean and avoiding the overwhelm, or a joyful and crazy opportunity to raise chickens in our bathroom?  Well, as you’ve probably concluded from the above photo I said yes to the chicks…..and to my essential self.

Deciding whether or not to raise baby chicks may not seem like a big life decision, but every action that we take that is in line with our essential self strengthens our muscle to do it again.  It’s actually little decisions like this that create the lives we want to create.  My small decision to pay attention to what felt freer and more joyful in my body has had big results in my life.  I actually feel less overwhelmed and happier.  I’m having a joyful and bonding adventure with my daughter…..right in our bathroom! She’s taken full responsibility for the chicks and is in absolute heaven.  I get a chance to see how grown up she is and what she’s capable of.  Yes, they are smelly and messy and our cats are going crazy, but I’m having more fun, feeling more joy, am more connected to my daughter, and more inspired in my work.   Sometimes things that seem small do make big differences in how we feel and experience our lives.  Especially when those small things are things that are on the path to our best life, our North Star, our JOY.  It reminds me of my favorite Abraham-Hicks quote…..”JOY first, and then anything else you have time for.” Listen to what your body is telling you.   You may be surprised just how easy it is to live your joy now.

Love, Laughter and Bliss,

Lorraine